The New Beginning :Revised:
by sabrinaw
Summary: Kagome's dead. The Inu-tachi is shattered and Kagura can't get that 'Thank you' out of her mind. Then Kagome comes back from the dead, and Naraku shows just how desperate he's getting. In a world destined to fail, can they truly find love? Kagome/Kagura
1. Guilt

he New Beginning (Revised)

Chapter One:

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**A/N**: Yes, I am aware of how long it's been. Well close...to two years? Three since I first posted? Life got in the way, lost my vibe for the story...but I got it back. And if yer interested, yer welcome to read. This story has a sort of new plot and has been entirely re-written. I like to think it's better but well, you be the judge.

* * *

Sango leaned against the Goshinboku, feeling older than she had a right to be. Didn't feel empty. On the contrary, she felt like there were so many emotions bubbling inside her if she even began to try and examine them all that she'd explode.

She felt...like she had just killed her best friend. Which was ridiculous, seeing how she had already been dead when they'd discovered her body but...the _smile _on her face...that young...pretty face. So...carefree. Like she was finally free of everything. Every time Sango closed her eyes, she saw that smile staring back at her, taunting her. Telling her just how much she _failed _as a friend.

Kagome had been so _innocent_. Just so happy...always seeing the best in everything and everyone. So why..._why _hadn't she noticed when the smiles stopped? When the innocence became tainted...and the laughter died out...why had she ignored such cries for help? Why hadn't Kagome _said _something. Just...something! ANYTHING! Rather than leaving her...

Standing by a tree, trembling so hard it was amazing she hadn't fallen over yet.

Feeling so incredibly guilty...

Sango should have _noticed_. Should have _known_. Hated this. Hated the fact that the last image of Kagome, instead of it being one of happiness or joy, was instead bloodied and cold...with that _smile_.

Hated that smile.

Hated herself.

So...so much. Made her feel _sick _to her stomach. The slashes that were on the body...she'd seen them enough to know who'd done it.

Kagura. Probably Naraku's doing, no doubt.

Why hadn't Kagome fought? Screamed for help or _something_? Why did she...smile?

So...

Happy. She'd been so _happy _to die.

"Sango...you're bleeding."

She jumped slightly, blinking as she realized that Miroku was standing besides her. When? When had he...? Bleeding? What? Looked down at her arms and finally registered the stinging. She'd been clawing at herself...

Didn't try to wipe the blood away. It...felt good. The blood over her skin. Like a memoir to Kagome. Which was so...horribly wrong. A memoir for _her _should have been something bright and full of life.

Not blood...

But there had been so...much...blood...

So much...

Slumped down to the ground, flinching when Miroku knelt down next to her and started wiping away the red liquid. "No...leave it..." It was a memoir. He couldn't touch it. Couldn't possibly understand...

As if sensing her thoughts, Miroku frowned at her, batting her hands away to wipe at it more forcefully. "I'd like to think that Kagome deserved better than...this."

He was right. Kagome deserved something...beautiful. And full of light. Something that was strong...full of energy...not...this. Kagome may have died but that wasn't all that she'd been.

Allowed him to wipe away the blood, leaning her head to rest against the trunk of the tree.

"Is...it...does it make me..." _Am I a bad person for hating her? Hating her for dying? With that __**smile**__..?_

Of course she was. Kagome was dead. You weren't...supposed to hate the dead...

Miroku touched her cheek and she looked at him, surprised at the softness of it. There was no pervertedness. Just...concern. And maybe something more...but she was hurting too much to return such feelings right now. Maybe...later...when her heart had healed some...and it didn't hurt to breathe...

"I...am angry with Kagome also," Miroku stated, voice barely above a whisper. Sounded so disturbed by that fact, and she could relate. It was hard, hating Kagome. There was something about her...that made it impossible to hate. Even Inuyasha had felt it. Had been effected by it

But it seemed that death could ruin even that.

* * *

She shouldn't feel guilty. Kagome had _asked _for her to kill her. Had begged for it even. Had needed to die, in order to heal. Thanked her, even. _Thanked _her. So why...did Kagura feel so depressed? Why was it...that instead of going out and finding her sister, she was standing in the middle of a clearing, staring at a waterfall? It was just...so...beautiful.

Like Kagome had been.

_Had _being the word there.

Kagura had killed hundreds of people while under Naraku's thumb. Some she regretted to this very day, others she hardly gave a second thought. But none of them had every _thanked _her for it. Except Kagome. She was _special _that way. Giving her heart back, then asking for death...accepting it with a smile...asking her not to go back to Naraku. To remain free.

Even in death she'd been thinking of someone else.

Kagome had been the one with the pure heart. Not her.

Watched with flat eyes as the waterfall churned the water, running her fingers through the cool liquid. "I...I'm sorry," She softly told the waterfall, imaging it was a certain miko she was speaking to. Never before had she actually apologized for something. Supposedly it made one feel better. But it didn't cheer her up at all. Didn't lessen the guilt... "I...didn't want to kill you..."

Hadn't wanted Kagome to die. Not by her hand. Kagura had been free...and the first act had been murder. "I...wanted to help you. I really...did..." Death hadn't been the answer to the lovely girl's problems. At least, not the only one. There had been another one. She could have said no. Should have told Kagome that she was worth more...deserved more.

But Kagome had needed...love. Something that she just...didn't know how to give. "I'm sorry."

Wasn't good enough to love yet. Didn't understand it. Couldn't give away what she didn't understand... Anger swelled up in her and she harshly slashed out at the waterfall with her fan, feeling foolish when the water kept flowing, ignoring her attack. That didn't stop her though, as she lashed out again and again. "Why did you have to THANK me?!"

Kagura's shoulders slumped as she scowled weakly at the water's surface. Hated that it kept bubbling along merrily, unaware of her inner turmoil. "Why...couldn't you just hate me like all the others?"

Why did Kagome have to be so different?

* * *

Inuyasha scowled up at the moon, tugging his necklace subconsciously. Kikyou had said that since Kagome had died, he could take it off. It had been two days since they'd found Kagome...

But he just couldn't do it. Couldn't take it off.

It was silly, but a part of the hanyou honestly believed that any second she would come running out of the hut and 'osuwari' him for something or other that he'd done. Eating her ramen...not letting her go home...pestering her about Kouga...but as the hours went by and...she stayed _in _the hut...so...lifeless...with Shippou sobbing over her form...

The belief started to go away and he found himself lost on what to do. Kagome...had _left _him.

Which was...just...not right. Kagome would never leave him. She'd said so herself. He turned over onto his side, picking at a few strands of straw that made up the roof.

He'd failed to protect her. Kikyou had just...come back and he'd been so happy to see her...felt so complete that he had just shoved Kagome out of the picture altogether. Inuyasha wasn't in love with Kagome. He chose Kikyou. But that didn't mean her death hadn't affected him. He wasn't in love with her, but he _did _love her. So much...

They all did. Even Kikyou felt guilty over what had happened. A feeling he was probably increasing by not talking to her but...Inuyasha just wanted to be alone right now. Because when he was with Kikyou...he felt at peace. Like somehow everything was going to be okay...

And he didn't want to feel like that.

He wanted to mourn for Kagome's death, like she deserved. More than that...he wanted to go back in time and _stop _her death and protect her like he had promised! Wanted to pull her cold body into his arms and just...

Apologize for so many things...

Except it wouldn't matter. Kagome was gone. He'd failed...and now...

She was gone.

"I'm...sorry," Inuyasha muttered up at the moon, refusing to let his lip tremble or his eyes burn. Wouldn't cry. He _wouldn't_. "Sorry I wasn't...strong enough." A few leaves brushed by him and he managed a small smile, feeling as if she was listening. Talking to him. Comforting him. Like only she could..

"You don't have to worry about Shippou...I'll look after him. I won't even hit him." Felt the wind swirl around him, as if in thanks. Kagome shouldn't thank him. Didn't have to thank him. All that she'd done...

She deserved so much more...

Kagome deserved to live.

"I would have come you know..." His lip trembled and he bit harshly at it until blood spilled, refusing to cry. "..if you had screamed for help, I would have come. I would have s-saved you." Without a moments hesitation. How could Inuyasha had forgotten that? "Remember that...time you started singing and...I said you sounded like Kirara did when someone stepped on her tail?...Well you did, but I should have lied." Kagome had gotten this _look _on her face and he had ducked, pressing himself close to the ground, already prepared for her to osuwari him into next year...

Only she'd started laughing...so hard...

Inuyasha curled in on himself, feeling like a little child. Like he had when his mother had died... "I miss you...I miss the way you used to osuwari me." She hadn't said the word in so long...never thought he'd grow to _miss _such a thing... "Miss the stories you used to tell Shippou to help him sleep...and how you always managed to get the ramen just right...and..."

He fell asleep on the roof, talking to the moon.

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Review! Please and Tanku!


	2. Choices

The New Beginning (Revised)

Chapter Two

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Kaede looked besides her, her insides churning uneasily. Kagome's death had hit her hard indeed, as she had seen the young woman as a sort of grandchild of her own. And when she'd seen her...so...lifeless..

To the others she had appeared to take it well. But when they had fallen asleep she had taken out a bottle of sake and had taken a drink for every good memory she had of the child.

Helping her with gathering herbs...

Listening to Kaede ramble on about stories from her youth, never interrupting no matter how many times she heard the story before.

That nice...massager that Kagome had given her for some...strange holiday...very nice. Worked on some type of mystical power called 'batteries'. Always remembered to bring more...

How she always brought back extra blankets and the such for the village come winter time. Always smiling, despite what happened...

Except lately. The smile had fallen... she'd noticed and had tried to reach the young miko but...nothing had worked.

And now...she was gone.

Laying in that damn hut...Kaede wished that the date for the funeral would just _arrive _already. But a lot of people had known Kagome and they were all wanting to attend. It would take a full two weeks for them all to get here and for everything to be prepared. So they had placed a preservation spell on the body, to keep it from decaying. She looked just as she did the day they found her. Cold...lifeless...covered in gashes...

With that smile on her face...

It was the cycle of life, Kaede knew that. People were destined to die. Even the ones like Kagome. It ached to think about it now, but in time, it would get easier to deal with. So she tried not to think about it right now...

Instead, she chose to focus on how strange her sister was behaving. Kikyou was...well...she was acting like..

Like Kikyou.

Like a human. Not to say that she acted like a monster, but usually...she was very...cold. As if she wasn't quite sure how to act normal. How to show kindness. Kikyou would _try_, but it usually came off as...forced. Not exactly comforting. But...today...she was actually smiling, and helping one of the younger girls make a flower crown while talking to her quietly.

Kikyou was behaving...just like she had when she was alive. Sweet and serene...

Just a few days ago she'd been withdrawn and now she was...warm. Making flower crowns, talking to a little girl.

Why the sudden change? Was it just an act? At first Kaede thought so, and had in fact spent the better part of the morning trying to see her slip or show some sort of..._something _... but no.

It appeared that Kikyou was sincere in her actions.

Which was nice, really. Kaede just...didn't know why. Why the sudden change? Why...was she so warm? So much like...

_Kagome..._

The answer finally came to her and she turned to look at her sister. "Kagome's soul is coming back to you, isn't it?" Felt her heart skip when Kikyou hesitantly nodded. On one hand...her sister was coming back to her. Really...coming back this time. Wouldn't be just a former shell of herself. On the other hand...

What would happen to Kagome?

* * *

This...wasn't right.

The woman who was...sitting next to that old hag...smiling like that...

They had a similar face, and Kagura could see how someone would mistake the two for one another but that wasn't Kagome. No...couldn't be. This woman was...mmm...

Her face finally registered and Kagura frowned. Kikyou. She hadn't recognized her due to the change of hairstyle. The woman had grown out her bangs and the warm smile on her face had also made it difficult. So why had...

No...

Kagura backed away from the scene, her mind whirling. That's right. Kagome was Kikyou's reincarnate. The reason she kept feeling Kagome's spirit was because they shared one soul. If they shared one soul...what...what happened...when...

When one of them died?

_The other one gets their soul..._

She walked off, intending on leaving the town. So _what _if Kagome...so what?

It wasn't her problem. Kagura had done her part by murdering Kagome. Didn't need to do anything else. No one was _asking _that she save the little miko from apparent...

Her footsteps slowly came to a halt. It...wasn't her...she didn't...

Kagura sighed, knowing that she wasn't going anywhere. No. It wasn't her problem. But...hadn't she wanted to help Kagome in some other way? What better than saving her from apparent doom? She smiled bitterly as she opened her fan. It was amazing...how her first deed upon being free was murder...just like her second one was going to be.

Knew if Kagome was around she'd be trying to talk her out of it. She was just...that kind of person.

But Kagura...wasn't.

_"Do you honestly think that you're worth saving? That someone's just going to come out and **set **you free? What would you **do **with your freedom? Why you wouldn't be able to go twenty steps without spilling blood. It's what you were born to be, Kagura. And that's all you ever **will **be."_

She hated...that Naraku was right...

* * *

The rain was soothing, and yet at the same time, it was troubling. Pelting down around harshly, matting her hair to her face and neck. It gave her body chills and she shivered, glaring up at the moody sky. This...was heaven. It wasn't supposed to _rain _in heaven. Come to think of it...she wasn't supposed to be cold in heaven either...

Kagome was starting to believe she wasn't in heaven...

Was this hell? Being rained upon and cold for all of eternity? It seemed too pretty for such a thing, really. Though Kagome noticed as the days passed, the place seemed to get a little more dim...as if it were dying. ..

It wasn't heaven. And it wasn't hell. So where _was _she? Maybe she was trapped between the two realms, doomed to stay in the rain forever...in this place...that was so empty...so...cold...just like she felt. Didn't make sense. She was free from the living world. Free of worries, pain, suffering...

So why was she so...miserable? Why did it make her feel so dirty? As if she'd ran away like a..like a...

"A coward," she stated out loud.

That's what she was, wasn't it? Instead of staying with the living and toughing it out...she...instead asked Kagura to kill her. And had thanked her. Poor Shippou and Inuyasha...she wondered how they reacted upon finding her body...

Shippou was probably crying...

Shouldn't be thinking these thoughts. She was...well Kagome wasn't sure where she was but...she was _dead_. So she wasn't supposed to be able to think of bad things...memories...and yet...

"Kagura..." Kagome had asked the wind demoness to kill her. She felt...unbelievably guilty for that. Looked away from the waterfall, sighing softly, "It seems even in heaven I am not at peace."

The comment was said to no one in particular, which was why she was surprised when a feminine voice answered, "That is because you are not in heaven."

Turned around and saw a miko that looked...so familiar...

And somehow just _knew _that this was the legendary Midoriko.

Which meant...that she wasn't in heaven at all. "Where am I," Kagome whispered, turning away. Didn't want to look at the wonderful...strong miko. Who had been everything she could never hope to be.

"You...are inside the Shikon jewel. Or...at least your soul is."

Midoriko leaned over, gently running a soothing hand through the younger girl's hair. "I know...that you were hurting and just..seeking for a way out. But this...is wrong. What you did was wrong. You have to go back."

Didn't want to go back. Didn't want to face..._them_. Kagome had failed. Had brought them so much pain and trouble...how could they possibly want her back? Why would she _want _to go back? It wasn't...she couldn't...

"I'm not...strong enough, Midoriko..." Distraught, she crumpled to the ground, her face contorting into that of sorrow. "I let them down...so much...couldn't be what they wanted or needed...how am I--"

A searing pain shot through her body, making her gasp out in surprise. It was like her entire being was being...sucked out of her. Like her soul was being riped apart. All she could feel...was pain... "W-what...is this?"

Midoriko placed her hand over the miko's chest and Kagome relaxed as the pain started to level off. "Kikyou. You have died, remember? Now you must pay the price."

"So I...I'll be...in..."

"No. She will absorb you. You will perish into nothing. Like...dying, only...with no hopes of being reincarnated."

Kagome picked at the ground, chewing her lip thoughtfully. Would it really be so bad? Maybe once that happened...she'd finally have peace. "Okay. Thanks for...telling me."

Felt the anger coming from Midoriko and flinched. "Don't--"

"You are _that _selfish? You'd honestly choose to stay _here _when your friends need you? What about the jewel? How can you just--"

"BECAUSE IT HURTS!!" Kagome exploded, her fingernails digging into her palms. "It HURTS, what they did! It hurts that I was so—so USELESS that they were able to forget me so easily! It HURTS that I'm not needed, or wanted, anymore..." Her shoulders slumped, the anger draining out of her. "I...you can only take so much pain...before you grow so...tired of it all. You think I'm selfish? Cowardice? Fine. I don't care. I just...don't care."

"Not even...if Kagura's life depends on you coming back?" Midoriko asked softly, watching as Kagome's form stiffened.

"Ka...gu...ra?"

A scene began playing in the waterfall and she watched it closely. An arrow...blood...windscar...it was all jumbled up. But one image was clear. The last one that was so...detailed. Kagura, on the forest ground with her hair caked in blood and those eyes...so dull...lifeless...

"I...I don't understand." She swallowed tightly. "What...what does my...death have to do with...hers?"

"Kagura...realized what was happening," The older woman explained gently, "so she set out...to kill Kikyou. Inuyasha killed her."

What? Kagura...died...for her?

No...

Why?

* * *

_Why do you cry for me?_

_You...you gave me my heart back. You...you're my friend._

* * *

A...friend? From that one simple thing?

Kagome felt her guilt intensify. First she had asked Kagura to kill her and then...Kagura had set out to kill again. For her. Why? Why did the wind sorceress care so much? And why was it that...she was now...standing up, preparing to take Midoriko up on her offer to go back?

Didn't want to go back. Didn't want to face them. Their stares and judgmental faces...the disappointment...

But she didn't want Kagura to die either. Not for her.

"I'll do it..."

Wasn't strong enough to handle the world; that had already been proven. But...for Kagura...she'd be willing to try.

* * *

So what'd ya think? Eh, eh? Fear not, I'm already almost done with Chapter three. It'll be up when I finish it. Probably in a few days...

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	3. Foxfire!

New Beginning

Chapter Three

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_This has got to be...the worse idea I've had in a long time..._

Kagura was fighting a losing battle. She knew that. Inuyasha with his wind scar, Kikyou with her miko abilities...not to mention Miroku and that wind tunnel of his...

She kept her attacks to disarming, rather than killing. Didn't want anymore blood than necessary on her hands. It was unbelievably hard to land any hits on Kikyou when the others were constantly getting in the way but she gamely continued on, determined to succeed. Wouldn't fail. She _wouldn't. _

Slashed her fan at the exterminator's body, wincing when it did more damage than intended. She was so unused to holding back on her attacks. It would take some getting used to. Sensing Inuyasha's attack coming again, she dodged, mentally growling at how _long _this was taking.

So hard to get her way without killing...not to mention annoying. But she wouldn't kill them. No, just Kikyou. Didn't attack the villagers who were watching the fight, and had even snapped at a little kid that had gotten too close for her liking. "Stay _back_!" Dumb kid was going to get himself _killed_. Dodged another windscar attack and groaned, realizing that the kid hadn't listened to her and it was heading right for him.

If it was that _stupid _it deserved to get killed. But a part of her just couldn't...let it die. Not if she could save it. Mentally growling at how _annoying _it was to have a heart, she shoved the kid out of the way, taking the full blunt force of the attack. Went flying back and let out a sharp cry as it cut into her body harshly. _Damn _that hurt!

An arrow pierced her arm, glowing with miko energy. Tried to move and found that her body refused to follow her command, too tired and drained from the battle and holy energy she could feel flowing from Miroku and Kikyou. This was it. She was going to die. From trying to do a good deed...

How..._pathetic_.

Saw Kikyou notch another arrow and tightly closed her eyes, mentally preparing herself for the darkness that was sure to come. But how does one prepare for such a thing? Wasn't possible...

A few seconds passed and nothing happened. Or had it already happened? So fast that she was now in hell or...no, hell. Most definitely. Cautiously, she opened her right eye. Only for her left one to fly open as well at...the utterly impossible sight before her.

Kagome...was kneeling protectively in front of her, with her hand wrapped tightly around the arrow, stopping it just inches away from Kagura's heart. She was covered in wounds and mud but given her recent state...the wind demoness figured she could forgive the messy appearance.

The village fell silent, Kikyou lowering her bow. "No...you..."

Inuyasha stepped forward, his eyes narrowed. "No. It can't be." Pointed the tetsusaiga at the _imposter, _shouting, "Listen shape-shifter! Either you choose another form or I'll choose one for ya!"

Kagome straightened up, smiling timidly. "No...it is...me, Inuyasha.."

"NO! It's not!" Miroku sat up, glaring at the two _demons_. "No. She's...dead. So...change to your true form, or..." His hand edged towards the prayer beads and Kagura hissed to the miko in front of her, "You better have _some _way to convince them!" She was _not _going to be happy inside that void for all of eternity.

"I..." Hadn't wanted to use it but...if they wanted proof... "...sit."

THUD!

Inuyasha was slammed face first into the ground and the hanyou felt his throat burn. She...Kagome was...

How?

Struggling, he pulled himself up, stumbling in surprise. "You..." Back. She was back. Saw her step towards him and took a step back, shaking his head. "No...just..._don't_. Stay away." Couldn't get close again. No. She'd left once...she could leave again. Never again. _No._

Kagome watched him walk away, her shoulders slumping. Inuyasha hated her. That...hurt.

So much...

Sango looked at her, taking in how she was standing in front of Kagura. Her little sister, best friend, was _back_. From beyond...truly back. So _why _was she protecting the bitch that killed her?! "Kagome...the wounds...she _killed _y--"

"I asked her to," Kagome interrupted, her voice soft.

Was sure to keep her eyes closed as they backed away from her in disgust. It would be...too painful to watch them abandon her a second time...

()

"..and...then I...woke up, basically. And I was...in the hut. I ran towards the fight to stop you guys from killing each other and...here we are."

Kagura leaned back against one of the walls in the small run down hut they'd taken sanctuary in. Half the roof was caving in and the walls had holes in them but it was a place to rest while they cleaned their wounds. It wasn't like the rest of the village was exactly welcoming them with open arms. What with Kagura being a demoness and Kagome...

Well...she didn't really know what had crawled up _their _asses and died...but it was pissing Kagura off. Kagome didn't just _up _and decide that she wanted to die. No, someone had to have pushed her; made her give up.

It wasn't Naraku's doing, so it had to have been _theirs_.

So they had no reason to get upset over anything. In fact they should be _happy _that Kagome had come back at all.

That thought reminded her of Kagome's story and she refocused her eyes on the miko, who was still stitching herself up. Not asking for help...not that...Kagura would have helped if asked _anyway_...

Shaking her head, she took the needle and thread from the younger woman and continued with a much steadier hand, due to having mostly healed by now. "That old hag...she's nice," Kagura muttered. Anything to get the miko to stop staring at the floor with such a _look _on her face.

"Kaede?" Those blue eyes lit up as she started rambling about the old woman, who had brought them the medical supplies. Kaede's posture had been stiff but her voice had been warm, giving away how happy she was to see Kagome alive. Which was what the little miko had needed to hear. Happiness that she'd come back.

Instead of the cool aloofness that everyone seemed to be shooting their way...

Finished stitching and painfully stood up, heading towards the door. "I'm going to go see if the hot springs are clear." They both needed a bath and after all that had happened today...neither of them were up for company.

With her injuries not yet fully healed, and having lost so much blood, she couldn't really pick up anything with her nose. Which was why she was _walking _to the hot springs to check.

And it was also the reason why she hadn't realized she was being followed until a tiny voice shouted out, "Foxfire!"

()

Review! Or I'mma getcha! XD


	4. Why indeed?

New Beginning

Chapter Four

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Shippou scowled when Kagura managed to dodge his attack, his mood souring even more when she visually seemed to _relax _upon realizing who he was. As if he wasn't a _threat_. We'll he'd show _her_.

"Foxfire! FOXFIRE FOXFIREFOXFIREFOXFIREFOXFIIIREEE!!"

She dodged them _all_. Shippou was breathing heavily and she was _smirking _at him. Evil woman! "FOX--"

A hand was suddenly covering his mouth and he struggled, not having even realized that she'd _moved_. So fast...like the wind. Bit sharply down on the hand covering his mouth and winced when she pulled at his ear in response. "Mmpf!"

"Calm _down _kid," Kagura huffed, dropping the kit on the ground. "Wanted to stop the little flames is all."

Humpf. His flames weren't _little. _They were _huge! _Powerful! And he wasn't a kid!

A soft crunching noise alerted him to the fact that she was _walking _away from him and he let out a growl before chasing after her. "Hey! Don't walk away from me!"

_Owowowowowow! _Kagura was picking him up by the tail. Ow! Didn't she have any idea how _sensitive _his tail was?! "Let me go you b--" Ooo...if his Mama heard that...she'd be _maaaad_...

Shippou's eyes saddened as that thought entered his head, his struggles dying down. Mama...wouldn't yell at him if she heard him talk like Inuyasha. No..Mama wouldn't get mad at all. Mama didn't _care_. And that was his fault. "Why?" he whimpered, not caring if his eyes were burning. He had to find out _why_. "Why'd she come back for _you_?!"

_Why didn' she come back for me?_

Wasn't he good enough?

Stupid burning eyes...couldn't cry. He wasn't a little kit anymore. Shippou had grown up and was now up to Inuyasha's waist! Too big for such things...Too big...too old...

Not a child anymore...

That's what he'd wanted Kagome to see. That she didn't have to worry about him so much. That he could...have another Mama, since she didn't want the job. That was so obvious from how...sad her eyes had been. Constantly sad...so lifeless...He hadn't wanted her to be sad. Shippou missed her smile. So he'd taken to following Kikyou around and calling her 'Mommy'. Never Mama. Could never replace Mama. Just how Mama could never replace Mom. They were all different in their own ways.

But he hadn't down the right thing. Because she had died...smiling. Looking so peaceful...

He had killed her. Killed his Mama.

Kagome had come back though.

Except...she didn't come back for him. No, she came back for _Kagura. _Not him.

_Her. _

Why? Why wasn't he...good enough?

"I killed her," Kagura replied, scratching her ear uneasily. Shippou hung his head miserably. "Yeah...and you made her happy. She was smiling with _you_. Not with me." No...hadn't been happy as his Mama. She'd cried herself to sleep for the longest time until...

She had died.

Shippou felt a breeze and the ground beneath him suddenly _shifted_. Looked up and felt the lump in his throat increase as he locked eyes with..._Kagome_. Kagura had...brought him to her. It was so tempting to call her a nasty name but Kagome would _hear_, even if he said it mentally because...she was Mama.

"Ahh...Shippou..." It hurt to watch her avert her eyes like that. Like she couldn't stand to look at him. "Did you get..." Those blue eyes finally settled on him, flashing with concern. "What are you doing here? Is someone hurt? Are you okay?" Cared...Kagome cared...about _him_? Still? After all he'd done?

The lump was impossible to swallow and before he knew it he was throwing himself into her arms and bawling like the little kit he was.

"I'm sorry! Wanted you to stay Mama, I did but I heard you crying and you were sad I just knew it and you kept coming back because of me right? S-so I just...I thought if you saw I didn' need you to stay, you could go and you'd stop crying and I'm SORRY! Don't die! Don't leave! Stay! STAY!! I w-won't bug you for candy an-and I'll stop fightin with Inuyasha and--" His ramble was cut off as his Mama picked him up, hugging him tightly.

"Shhh...Shippou...shhh...calm down," Kagome cooed softly, rubbing Shippou's back in a soothing manner. "Shippou...my poor little kit...thank you."

He shook his head, tears still falling heavily. Thank you? What for? He'd killed her. Made her so sad... "M'sorry..."

Gave him a gentle squeeze, cutting him off again. "Thank you, Shippou. You cared...so much...that you were willing to put my own happiness before yours. Thank you."

Buried his face in her neck, trembling. Wasn't enough. His Mama had left him. All alone...

"Why?" Shippou mumbled, "Why...did y'leave? Why didn' you come back for me? Why wasn' I good enough?"

Kagome felt tears of her own leak out at hearing his heartbroken tone. She'd failed him...so much... "I'm sorry...I was hurting and..." No, no excuses. There was no excuse for what she'd done...

"How about this," Kagura spoke up, and they both turned to her, identical looks of bemusement on their faces as she continued, "Kagome apologizes for leaving you..." Kagome flinched. Ouch. "...if you apologize for trying to grow up too fast. Deal?"

They thought about that for a few seconds before nodding hesitantly. "O...kay." As if by magic his tears vanished, but he didn't let go of his Mama just yet. Shippou had almost a week to catch up on, so it was best that he get started as quickly as possible, right? Besides, Mama wasn't complaining.

Kagome listened as Shippou started to fill her in on all that he'd missed, not stopping in his ramble even when they went to the hot springs. If Kagura was annoyed she never said anything, even though it was night fall by the time he tired himself out and fell asleep. She held him close to her, feeling her guilt intensify. She'd been so foolish, to think she was the only one hurting...

"Don't start on that," Kagura spoke up, turning over some rabbit in the fireplace that they'd caught for dinner. Though with Shippou talking the entire time it was amazing they caught _anything_. "He forgave you, you forgave him. So...don't do that thing. With your eyes." Kagura shifted slightly as she felt those eyes turning to her. Knew she'd said too much when Kagome smiled and said in an overly innocent tone, "You seem to be paying an awful lot of attention to my eyes, Kagura."

Gave the rabbit a firmer poke. "Yeah, so?"

Didn't mean anything. It _didn't_. Even if they were a really unique shade... "You should...ah...get to bed. You need some rest."

Waited until she was absolutely _sure _that Kagome was asleep before letting out a sigh.

_Why did she come back for __**you**__? _

"Why indeed?" Kagura muttered, leaning back to stare out at the moon.


End file.
